4 am Nutri-Grain Bar Negotiations

It’s 4:00 AM. Do you know where your sanity is? Because mine is somewhere between a half-chewed Nutri-Grain bar and the pillow where Zoey just wiped her hands.

The twins woke up like it was a rave. One started crying, which woke the other, and suddenly I’m hosting a breakfast buffet before the sun has even considered rising. I work in four hours. FOUR. But sure, let’s start the day now. Who needs REM sleep when you’ve got strawberry-filled snacks and chaos on demand?

They didn’t want milk. They didn’t want cuddles. They didn’t want Peppa. They wanted Nutri-Grain bars. Plural. Because one is never enough when you’re under three and running the house like tiny CEOs in footie pajamas.

So there I was—hair in a lopsided bun, wearing socks that didn’t match, trying to peel back that impossibly loud wrapper like it was a bomb about to detonate. Of course, one twin wanted the first bite, the other wanted all the bites- greedy ass and both lost their minds when I ran out of the bar. Rookie mistake. Should’ve known better. Always grab more then one.

Eventually, I gave them what they wanted (because clearly, they run the show), and I sat there, watching them eat like gremlins under fluorescent tv lights, thinking: this is my Roman Empire. This is my Groundhog Day. And in just four hours, I’ll be expected to function like a competent adult with a job and clothes that don’t smell like toddler breakfast.

There’s no moral here. No uplifting wrap-up. Just a real-time report from the trenches of twin motherhood. If you’re reading this in the middle of the night while your own tiny dictators are screaming for carbs, solidarity, mama. You're not alone. And may your coffee be stronger than your will to cry.

I do wonder what is your favorite late night /early morning snack?